Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Life is what you make of it

Job is a pretty remarkable guy. Even when all has been taken from him and he has been inflicted with skin problems and tormented he still remains faithful to God. Even when his friends turn against him and tell him it is clear that he is at fault and living in sin, he does not lose sight. I can't say whether or not I would have that kind of strength. I would like to think that I do, but honestly, I think/feel deep down that I do not.

I am heavily dependent upon relationships, something I am perhaps trying to wean myself off of (maybe, maybe not). This dependence was made clear once again today at lunch-I won't go into detail because the details are not important to the story-just suffice to say that I need friends. However, there are some relationships that I have tried to make peace about and be ok with where it is. Yet, it seems every time I come close to finding peace about it, the wound is reopened and I am expected to be fine with it. I feel a little like Job (man, how self-pitying does that sound?) in this regard; no matter how much I want the wound to heal and for me to move on with my life, for some reason I am not meant to move on. There must be a reason why I am unable to just put it behind me. I don't know if any of that makes sense but that's how I feel right now.

Anyway, like Job I will do my best to maintain focus on God and His provision in my life. There are lots of things I would love to be different in my life-some things made to happen more expediently, others taken completely from my life. But hey, I figure God knows what I can handle and so these things are happening for a reason. Sometimes I just wish I could affect certain areas of my life more acutely and effectively. Oh well, c'est la vie.

I know I didn't say that much in this post, but I might post again later. Who knows? I just wanted to say something-so here it is.

I'm thankful that people don't hold their first impressions of me against me.

Later, gator


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