Wednesday, April 14, 2010

In which the author describes a little bit about his friendships

So I had a conversation with a friend recently concerning relationships and how they play out at Gardner-Webb. Honestly, I didn't do much talking (but I feel that those are the times in which I am most effectively used) and that the person needed someone off of which to bounce some ideas. I was more than willing to be that sounding board for him.

Eventually the conversation turned at a couple of points and I found myself discussing some of my issues with the role of 'best friend' in my life. This may require a little of background, so get ready cause we're diving into David's past for a bit. Make sure you have a good supply of oxygen-there's no coming up for air where we're going.

So when I was younger I attended a Lutheran Elementary/Middle school (basically kindergarten through 8th grade). Well, ever since I could remember my time there I had been best friends with Timmy Snell. David Bell and Timmy Snell-our last names rhymed, so clearly we were destined to be best friends forever. Well for our elementary experience, we were best friends-we had sleepovers, went on adventures and hung out a whole lot. It was pretty awesome to have someone you knew you could rely on (although, I question what exactly i would need someone to rely on when I was so young...). Anyway, once we hit 5th grade, popularity and image became a lot more important. Well, I never got that memo and so I was REALLY, really lame and uncool. Now, I don't this was the only factor, but I feel it was a pretty big chunk of the falling out between Timmy and I. He basically tossed me to the curb and I was left to fend for myself. Luckily, there were some other classmates who I connected with and it wasn't the end of my world, but I never found another best friend character throughout middle school.

Well, high school comes along and to make a long and boring story short-I had no best friend in high school either. There were a couple of people that I grew close to, but no one who I felt was someone I could rely on and turn to in times of trouble. Similar story for my first year at G-Dubb.

However, my sophomore year comes along and I find friends, who I might classify as the closest thing to best friends that I have. Now they weren't perfect and they don't fulfill the complete image I have in my mind of a best friend, but they are definitely people I can rely on and with whom I have shared a WHOLE lot of memories. I think they know who they are-TI4.

We skip ahead a bit to a conversation I was having with someone who I classify as my smartest friend and discussing the issue of a best friend. I pointed to David and Jonathan's relationship (a popular reference for people to use in regards to male friendships) and complained that I wanted a friend who I could trust like David and Jonathan trusted each other (I needed a Jonathan!). Well, my brilliant friend pointed to the fact that David didn't start with the relationship with Jonathan; no, he spent years alone in the fields with the sheep, with just God and the sheep as his company. Before I even try to find someone to be my 'best friend' I need to make sure that God is my real 'best friend' and that my relationship with Him is solidified before I go looking to someone else.

You may not agree with this assessment, you may even think it sounds childish and ridiculous. And that's fine-that's your opinion. However, I have found great comfort in this, but also a great challenge-what is my motivation for the things I do? Is it to further my relationship with God? Or is seeking for meaning from inadequate sources?


"David was the youngest. Now the three oldest followed Saul, but David went back and forth from Saul to tend his father's flock at Bethlehem." I Samuel 17:14-15

Thursday, April 8, 2010


Yesterday I was reminded of how blessed I truly am, and yet I still complain about minute details. This is not to say they are insignificant, for in all reality they are very important to me, but that's not much I can do to influence the results-so they become minute.

Job is an amazing individual. Plain and simple; even if you are not religious, you have to admit that Job provides a great example for enduring trials. If you haven't read Job, you should pick it up. But and I think I've given this advice before, you have to be in a "good place"; if you are torn up this book will rip you further. There again maybe that's what it takes-maybe you need to be destroyed so you can be rebuilt into something new.

One of my friends pointed me to the 13th chapter, verse 15 in which Job says that even if God were to kill him, still Job would have faith and hope in Him. I am still in awe of the power of that statement. I have difficulty trusting people in general, but even more so when they give me a reason not to trust them. So the idea of trusting someone even if they 'cause' bad things to happen to you astounds me. I can't do it.

Now, I am a very forgiving person. I always tell people, there will never be a time where I don't love you-I will always love you; I may not like you, but I will always love you. But that's about the only thing they get; from that moment on I will regard them with hesitation-whether they realize it or not.

Job had it all and lost it all. Yet, he remained secure in his faith. That, my friends, is strength.


"Though He slay me, I will hope in Him." Job 13:15

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Jealousy and 'fitting in'. These may be the biggest struggles in my life. I am a thoroughly jealous person and do not really do well with the whole popular thing.

So, for the past few weeks, I have been sending a few of my friends Bible verses through text messages. Now this is as much for me as it is for them (in fact, it is probably more for me than for them). This is all well and good, yeah? but what is the effective ends of this? Does it inspire the recipients to reflect on the passage and take time to think about the Word? Is it just one more wave in a sea of endless texts, one that is quickly forgotten/ignored as life goes on?

Is there more I should be doing? Would it be effectual for me to do anything else? or would it also just be ignored? I don't know. Clearly. But I have been thinking lately about whether I am making a difference or not. I spoke with one of my Grad friends and she assured me that I was most certainly making a difference-although in a different manner than I was thinking. This was eye-opening for me! I had become so focused on the future and on certain aspects of my life, that I was absolutely neglecting other portions of who I am and what I do. It was nice to hear the affirmation, but even better to be reminded that I need to live here and now and not get bogged down by Satan's ploys.

Really, it all comes down to my focus. If my focus is not on God, then how can I know the path He is calling me to follow? Sure, I can guess and grope around in the dark, but I've never really been the kind of person to go into something unprepared and lost. Why should my life be any different? I am tired of letting my emotions change as often as the time; though all the world desert me, still my God loves me.

Later, gator


“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.” -Albert Pine

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Reflections from Easter break

So people have been asking about my blog lately-so I figured I could give you guys something.

Have you ever just cared so much for the well-being of another person that you were willing to give up everything you had in order to better their life? I imagine parents feel this for their children (I say 'imagine' because not being a parent, I can't say for sure). I know this is how God feels for us.

A lot of you will probably find this ridiculous, but I find myself caring far greater about other people and their welfare than my own. I always envisioned my death being a means of salvation for someone else in some form or other. I often look for ways to serve-lead by example; demonstrate my love through service.

There are thousands of opportunities for us to live as examples. But we don't always take them-sometimes, we purposely avoid them. We want to be seen as cool, rather than be a good model. Sometimes, we convince ourselves if we can just get an in, then we can change them through those actions. And maybe we can-I don't know, I clearly don't hold all the answers despite what some may believe.

Anyway, I have recently been thinking about taking some steps to help someone in need. Idk why I am writing this in the blog, I mean you don't know the person or the situation, but I guess it is comforting to know that I have spoken about it-it makes it more real to me. But it may not happen anyway, who knows? Regardless, this person will continue to be in my prayers and I ask that you guys keep me in your prayers concerning this.

I know it's not much and it's kind of random/scattered, but it's my blog so get over it :-P

Later, gator


"Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his for his friends." John 15:13